A Tale of Two Temperaments – Happily Ever After
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Now that we’ve talked about Mike’s and Lisa’s temperaments and the challenges they face, both individually and as a couple, let’s catch up with them a few months down the road. Based on what they learned from their APS tests and counseling sessions, they’ve made some significant changes.
Mike left his job in sales and applied for a position in the copywriting department of the same company. This job allows him to use his intellectual and creative abilities while working alone most of the time. Since he isn’t forced to interact with people all day long, he is able to give his family the attention they need. Now that his energy isn’t being depleted on the job, he has initiated a regular date night with Lisa.
Lisa has learned to meet some of her need for social interaction during the day, even with 2 busy preschoolers. She listens to Christian radio at home, and either calls a friend or chats online while her children are napping. She has joined a local MOPS group and regularly gets together with other moms at the park or church. With Mike’s encouragement, she occasionally leaves the kids with him and goes out for dinner and shopping with a girlfriend.
The couple has instituted a weekly business meeting, where they make decisions about finances, parenting, etc. Lisa has discovered that Mike is very willing to participate in the decision making process, and she is less critical and frustrated.
Mike has learned to initiate affection and sex more often. He remembers to say I love you – probably not as often as Lisa would like to hear it, but she now understands that he is saying I love you by the things he does for her. She can get some of her need for touch from her children and close friends, and she has learned that God is ultimately the only one who can fulfill her need for affection.
Now that they understand their temperament needs, Mike and Lisa are much happier. The fighting has stopped, and they can’t believe they ever thought of splitting up. Mike is enjoying his job, and Lisa loves being a stay-at-home mom.
If you’re like Mike or Lisa, unsatisfied in your life, marriage, or career, contact us. It might be as simple as bringing your life into balance with the way God created you.
Cindy grew up in rural NY and Ohio. She spent almost 30 years as an RN in a major children’s hospital before God called her to change direction and pursue a degree in Christian counseling. She is a Certified Temperament Counselor and Certified Pastoral Counselor.
Cindy home-schooled her five children, all adults now, and currently lives on a farm in West Tennessee.
